A serial cheater can be difficult to avoid at times. They may be charming and attentive in the early stages of a relationship, but as time passes, they begin to reveal their serial cheater traits. The signs of a serial cheater can be subtle and difficult to detect at times. If you want to avoid being stuck with an unfaithful partner, you should be aware of the red flags in your relationship.
Learn the warning signs and how to deal with a serial cheater to avoid heartbreak.
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What is a Serial Cheater?
Everyone makes mistakes, and some people may stray in their relationships, later regretting their actions and committing to change. Serial cheaters, on the other hand, do not attempt to refrain from cheating. They actively seek opportunities to cheat.
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One thing that most serial cheaters have in common is that they don’t feel bad about their actions. Serial cheaters have no guilt or shame about their behavior because they see nothing wrong with it. They are repeated cheaters because they believe that cheating in relationships is acceptable.
A serial cheater could be in a committed relationship. They will, however, continue to use dating websites, or they will see no problem with going out without their significant other and looking for opportunities to hook up. They are under no obligation to be loyal to their partners in any way.
Serial Cheater Psychology
Most sexually addicted people, including those who engage in infidelity as one of their sexual behaviors, hold certain core negative beliefs. They believe they are unworthy, that no one can truly love them, and so on. Because of these insecurities, all addicts avoid intimacy and compartmentalize and separate parts of their sexual, romantic, or intimate lives. Being intimate with a spouse is difficult, so they seek an alternative.
I’ve long been struck by the fact that I’ve had serial cheaters (primarily men) as clients who are usually married to beautiful women. These women are frequently accomplished and exceptionally bright. These addicts are not looking for something better and often cheat on someone less attractive and desirable than their spouse. “I married a 10 and cheated with 2s,” one addict explained. They cheat for one of two reasons, according to some. Both are based on profound insecurities.
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Some cheaters are threatened by their spouses. This is not the spouse’s fault; the addict simply feels inadequate and seeks some sexual connection with an inferior companion. This could be a less appealing affair partner, someone with fewer resources, or numerous problems. It could also be a non-threatening commercial sex worker or a casual hookup. Cheating can temporarily make the addict feel more powerful and less insecure. Instead of questioning whether he is good enough, the addict who cheats feels like a big shot. In some cases, cheating is a way to show that the partner is too powerful and makes them feel angry. These addicts may engage in long-term relationships that appear to defy comprehension.
Another common motivation I see in serial cheating is sexual self-objectification. The serial cheater requires the constant validation of being perceived as sexual. It’s not that the addict is self-conscious about his or her sexual abilities. Deep down, the addict believes he has nothing to offer besides his sexual attractiveness. This type of addict is likely to be addicted to flirting and inappropriate behavior and will be drawn inexorably to people who find him attractive.
Such addicts have told me that being attracted to a woman is entirely intoxicating. Because these addicts believe they are only valuable as sex objects, they seek to sexualize all relationships, including business relationships. And, as the initial rush of attraction fades, they tend to move quickly from one proto-relationship to the next.
Can a Serial Cheater Change
After some thought, I realized the answer is not as simple as yes or no. Many factors influence the prognosis for serial cheating, including the cheater’s characteristics, whether the affair is part of an addiction, motivation to cheat, and motivation to change.
Cheating, in general, is so common that distinguishing between what is serial cheating and what is just the normal state of affairs becomes even more difficult.
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Given the patterns and personality traits involved in serial cheating, a cheater rarely becomes faithful. Serial cheaters cheat repeatedly and feel no remorse, so they lack internal motivation to change. Furthermore, their cunning and charming personalities allow them to get away with serial cheating.
Change may be possible if serial cheater accepts responsibility for their destructive behavior and expresses a desire to learn to be faithful. Still, it won’t be easy and will necessitate professional assistance.
Serial Cheater Signs
If you’re wondering if you’re becoming a victim of a serial cheater, there are warning signs you can look for to protect yourself from further harm. Consider the following signs of a serial cheater, so you know when it’s time to bail before you get too far in:
#1. Manipulation is quite joint.
Serial cheaters need to get away with their actions, so they trick their partners into thinking they will change. They may promise to change and buy gifts to keep their partners. Serial cheaters are more likely to make excuses or fabricate stories to cover their tracks.
#2. They exhibit commitment apprehension.
If your partner still has dating apps on their phone or is afraid to declare you as their significant other publicly, this shows a lack of commitment, which is one of the signs of a serial cheater.
#3. They are obsessed with their appearance.
Another red flag among serial cheaters’ characteristics is an obsession with their physical appearance. The serial cheater may spend hours in front of the mirror grooming themselves, and they will seek compliments from others, whether strangers at the bar or social media friends who like and comment on seductive photos.
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#4. Overly flirtatious behavior cannot be ignored.
If you notice your partner being overly flirtatious to the point of being embarrassing or obnoxious, you have a serial cheater on your hands.
While the two of you are out together, the serial cheater will have no problem buying a drink for someone else and will not hesitate to compliment someone on their outfit.
#5. You have a bad gut feeling.
A gut feeling may not mean anything if you have a high level of anxiety, but when people find themselves with a serial cheater, they often get a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right.
#6. They are prone to deception.
Serial cheaters must become accustomed to lying to conceal their infidelity, which means dishonesty can become a habit. If you catch them lying frequently, there’s a good chance they’re also lying about their commitment to the relationship.
#7. They have a lot of charisma.
Consider the early stages of your relationship with your significant other. Did they come across as particularly endearing? If this is the case, it could be one of the signs of a serial cheater. To attract new clients, these people must be highly charismatic.
#8. They’re both hot and cold.
They will lavish you with attention one moment and then ignore your messages for hours on end the next. This means that the serial cheater is probably talking to someone else sometimes and returning to pay attention to you when it is convenient for them.
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This can be extremely frustrating because the relationship appears perfect one minute, and then you are ignored the next.
#9. They accuse you of deception.
Cheaters who do it over and over again know they can’t be trusted, so if they accuse you of cheating all the time, this is often a sign that they do it too. They may believe that everyone else is acting the same way they are.
How to Deal With a Serial Cheater
When one partner cheats, the other partner often feels alone and hopeless, but you must remember that it is not your fault. Your partner may stray due to insecurities. Cheating treatment centers provide counseling sessions that can assist you in taking the first steps toward a new life.
You can decide whether you want to salvage your relationship and move forward together, take a short break from your addictive partner, or let go completely to find healing in your life as you meet with your counselor.
Cheating recovery programs can also help those struggling with sexual addiction. Cheating is a symptom of a larger problem you can overcome together through family sessions and couples counseling.
Relationships with serial cheaters are often heartbreaking, but you can learn to recognize the signs of a serial cheater and leave the relationship to find someone who will meet your needs and be loyal to you.
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Waiting for a serial cheater to change is unlikely to end well, so if you notice the signs listed above, you should cut your losses and walk away.
Frequently Asked Questions
What personality is a serial cheater?
Serial cheaters cheat repeatedly and feel no remorse, so they lack internal motivation to change. Furthermore, their cunning and charming personality allows them to get away with serial cheating.
Is a serial cheater a narcissist?
You may have met someone with a narcissistic or sociopathic personality. Narcissists and sociopaths are well known for their emotional and physical infidelity. Narcissists are not only pick-up artists and players in the dating world, but they are also serial cheaters in relationships.
Can a marriage survive a serial cheater?
Yes, it is conceivable! You can’t go back in time, but you can take advantage of this opportunity to move forward. You must acknowledge the harm done by past infidelity as well as your fears of it happening again.
Which attachment style is most likely to cheat?
Avoidant attachment styles
Psychologists believe that people with avoidant attachment styles are uncomfortable with intimacy and are thus more likely to have multiple sexual encounters and cheat.